Nothing Is Indispensable

During one of our fights and in between Tex's sullen face and my teary eyes:

Me: How can we move on? Is it even possible?

Tex: Nothing is indispensable in this world. I want you but I do not need you. I am a complete circle - I don't need you to complete my life. That would suggest that I was an incomplete person before having you in my life. That is not true. I'm not a fragile person looking for completion in someone. I am a well-adjusted individual trying to find a like-minded person whom I feel happy, invigorated and inspired comfortable to share my life with. If your beliefs differ from mine, you better tell me now.

Tex: The pain of life is that we are exposed to suffering, in fact death is wonderful - an absence of everything living. Only living people feel pain, death has nothingness.

Me: Indifferent?

Tex: Nothingness. Zilch. Indifferent is a feeling. I accept that you are faltering. It's okay to falter in your life. We all falter, we are all human, it's part of life to feel vulnerable. To feel vulnerable is also to be strong. You are not 100% who I want you to be but you don't live to please me. I don't desert you when you're down. I dig deep into all the wells of resource we have nurtured and stand by you

This is what nurturing a relationship is about. When we exhaust that well, we top it up because it is about saving for the rainy days ahead, or days like these. Nothing is indispensible. Forcing situations where people are unhappy only unnecessarily causes pain. Incompatible beyond a certain point means we cannot be together.

 

Tex: So it's simple. I marry you with my commitment that I give 150% of me to make this work. I will give my unwavering support, love and attention and in turn, you offer similar. If we drift apart, we work to iron out the issues. If despite our best efforts things don't work out then so be it.

 

I'm blogging this with a very calm mind because all he has said are brutally honest, some say cruel, even, but true. I never believed in forever, only as long as possible and so are relationships that meant that to me. One does not simply stop living because another person has made his or her exit. You complete your life and you find someone to share it with, not help you to complete yours. Your outcomes are the results of your choices.

 

Take Alvin & Yuki for example. So he left her. Yuki can choose to die, of course, it's her choice but Alvin will still be alive and kicking without her. He doesn't lose a part of himself just because she dies. It is ultimately her choice and her personal permission to herself on how she wants to lead or end her life, on her terms. When you die, all that you have ended, are your own right or wrong doings and yes, you will expect nothingness. Nothing more, nothing less. If she dies, she does not get to end Alvin's relationship with this other woman. They are mutually exclusive in her life.

 

Your life is about you. Two complete persons come together, good. You break up, you are still complete. You are on your own. Alone, but complete.

 

To be fair, it took me many tears and revelations to finally understand that.

Man's Search For Meaning

Sorry for the short hiatus. It's been a whirlwind in my life.

I've been recently caught up with this book:

The author was a WW2 prisoner in the Auschwitz concentration camp. He wrote about what he remembered and how he felt during and after his lucky escape from the terrible times.

I've yet to finish the short book but for the better half of it that I've read - sometimes life isn't what you chose it to be, especially when you are stranded in a situation like that, when death is the only solace you can seek. Do you still seek to live? Perhaps the dead are better off in their quality of life. You don't seek to live long, you seek to live in quality.

Life has a path for you, even if you don't do anything, it rolls out day after day without you. You are just a small person in the entire world. The world would not stop for you. Sometimes we all need to have faith in natural processes and let things pan out by themselves.

Nothing is indispensable.

Let it go and it will come to you. If it doesn't, it's not meant to be yours.

Let it go to have it and to enjoy it.

Wedding Bells Everywhere!

November and December are such happy months to be in with wedding bells ringing almost every weekend!

Which brings me to remember my own little private proposal in the midst of preparing my very little cosy and humble solemnisation happening this coming January.

There are so many reasons that I love how Tex proposed and one of it was, no-frills, just me and him. Just like how he like his life, simple and not complicated. The way he did it, totally reflected how he lives his life and envisions our lives together - contentment with simplicity, fiercely private and no need for extra decorations like flowers or balloons or an expensive dinner with an awesome view. Not that I really give a damn about. Actually, he forgot to buy flowers and with an afterthought, we still couldn't fathom out the reason behind the presence of flowers with a proposal so we let it go anyway.

All I felt and heard was him and his words, only for my ears. Memories that can be remembered in our minds for a very very long time.

To be honest, I did make some noise about him not pulling his weight around in the preparation of the solemnisation. However, when he said, "Baby, all I want and need is you. The rest are secondary." I know he is right. He has no need for fanciful invites, candy table, meals, decorations but I know he will put in his best efforts to do it with me, if I really wanted it badly.

So thank you baby. I believe what I am preparing now is really minimal compared to the rest of the brides out there.

For those brides-to-be, what is your significance in marriage?

Remember, it's the marriage that counts, not the wedding. So don't sweat the little things. :)

Can You Buy Me Time?

Tex: Have you been shopping?

Me: Errr, I bought you something. *Guilty*

Tex: I don't need anything.

Me: You'll LOVE it!

Tex: You know what I need?

Me: What?

Tex: Time. Can you buy me some time? I need time.

Me: ...



Guys.

The Dilemma

While chatting about our future in a not so bright way,


Me: Baby hold my hand please.

Tex: *extends and hold* We're in this together, okay?

Me: I'm damn fucking scared. But I tell myself that it's okay, I've got company.

Tex: So am I, I am scared too. But I am in love. I'm supposed to feel vulnerable yet feel strong.


Love makes you vulnerable yet strong. Love makes you poor yet rich. Love makes you selfish yet giving. Love makes you let go but achieve.

Love is illogical. Love is senseless. Love is unreasonable. Love is unmeasurable.

Love is having. Love is not having.

Love is medicinal yet toxic.

Love. Have love to give love.

OFTDs

Been so caught up with the travelogues, I've neglected the outfit posts!

Love, Bonito Carrigan Dress in Cream (L)

Yes yes, grave mistake of buying L size for this piece. I should be able to fit M. This dress is a good piece to wear if you feel fat or have nothing to wear on weekends! Crochet details are firm and sturdy; a rather simple dress to own!

ASOS Textured Dress PETITE in Black (12)

Thankfully I carted out in size 12! Fits me like a glove and love the christmas-sy feel from the textures! Great piece to wear for work and definitely shows off your curves subtlely.

F21 Floral Dress in Black (L)

A casual floral dress I wore during one of the weekdays when I went on leave.

Her Velvet Vase Ari Embellished Dress in Cream (M)

Yes! I got M in a light colour! God knows how much confidence I needed to do that. Always thought I'm a L and got so many apparels in L before many commented that I should start taking M. T.T

First of all, it was a perfect hit and fit for me. The embellishments were not scratchy at all and added a nice corporate touch to it. Also, the material used was thick and it wasn't sheer for me. I do wish the length was slightly longer though, an inch would be good.

Love, Bonito Cassidy Corset in Cream (M) & Miranda Skirt in White (L)

I thought this was quite a classy combination! :D

Love, Bonito Brique Blazer in Green (M), Tasmin Tube in Violet (L) & Esprit black pants

Haiiiii, the violet tube was too loose for me. Gotta get my mum to help me tighten it to fit my shrinking bust area!

Love, Bonito Camilla Corset in White (L) & F21 Teal bandage skirt (L)

A clean combi for a casual Friday!

That's all for today! Thanks for reading! :)

Travelogue - Prague, Czech Republic September 2012 (1)

One of the first cities I wanted to visit (rather adamantly, I regret to say) was Prague. It was my dream city since I was 17 when I read a travel magazine that featured Prague as a rather affordable destination to travel to, as compared to her other Central Europe counterparts. I googled Prague and saw more fascinating photos of her and further affirmed that it was my dream city!

Honestly I thought I would only be able to travel to Prague when I reach 35 but never did I think my dream came true a whole nine years early! Thank you Finnair for the free stopover that you provided and allowed us to choose ANY, I repeat, ANY city in Europe that they fly to! Without a doubt (and a fight), we (I) chose Prague as our stopover. Thank you Tex. Sweden next time, okay? :D

(Would definitely fight with him again for the next city in future. I soooo wanna visit Krakow, Poland! Am a sucker for Eastern European countries :))




Arrived at Praha Ruzyne Airport!

Czech Republic uses their own currency - the Korunas, but Euros are still widely accepted throughout the country. You might want to have some Korunas ready as some small food stalls, restaurants and bus services may only accept their local currency. Otherwise, for hotels, hostels and some shops, they may be more than happy to accept Euros.

What we found was that, because we had a very good exchange rate from SGD to Euros at SGD$1.51 to €1, we paid almost most of our expenses (if we could) in Euros. They are normally cheaper by at least 10% as compared to using Korunas. :)

Errr, signboard. Czech is really hard to get.

Took the airport bus from the airport and the journey was about 45 minutes. We dropped off at Dejvicka and took the Metro for 2 stops reaching Malostranka to continue to our hostel.

Retro-looking train! Yet, underground but no glass doors. I think the ang mos were sensible enough to not jump floor, or in this case, train.

Coming out of the station - "WAAAAHHHHH, so drama!"

Coming out of the station was a breath of fresh air. We looked around and we saw dramatic buildings everywhere! I imagined entering a post office that looked very bohemian in style. Okay, that was random.

We took a tram to our hostel destination, which was only one stop away. Got out of the tram and I had a queasy feeling - this place is so.. commercialised!

Proceeded to our hostel and dropped our heavy bags and went out for sight-seeing!

Ma bedddddd!

View out my window.

It was a glorious day! Quite warm though, around 20 degrees. Didn't have to bring my jacket out at all!




See what I mean? Anyhow take also got drama building!

That photo above, there is a traffic light towards the left side of the background, we just had to walk down that street and that would be the location for our hostel. We stayed at Charles Bridge Economic Hostel and like its name suggested, we were less than 30 steps away from Charles Bridge. :)




This was the street that led to our hostel.

Apparently it was a very tourisy place that we stayed at. Many shops sold souvenirs and funnily enough, I didn't feel as safe as I did in Helsinki. Held my bag closely to me most of the time. Tex and I found most of the Czechs to be really grumpy and I was quite disappointed that my dream city didn't turn out to be so friendly after all. They sounded rude, brash and curt but we weren't prepared to let them ruin our day!



Prague Main Railway Station

We went over to the Main Railway Station to enquire about our train tickets to Salzburg the next day. Salzburg is the second largest city in Austria, after Vienna. Yes, we stayed only one night in Prague as we would be returning to Prague again at the last leg of our trip.

Got our tickets and went back to Charles Bridge to take some infamous photos!

The Charles Bridge Tower

One of the many statues that was on Charles Bridge

 

 

 

 

A very Richard Gere moment with Visa

 

 

 

Very famous scenery!

 

 

I think almost every tourist who went there before had exactly the same photos. Haha!

 



 

Hello us.

 

 

 

 

 



People parasailing in the background! Really wanted to do it but lazy to find out where it was! Zzz.



Prague Castle in the background

The OTHER Charles Bridge Tower

We paid a small fee to climb up the tower to take more picturesque photos! Again, flash your student card to save more!

Awwwww.

Sneakily took a photo of this very-much-in-love couple but a friend later pointed out to me that the back of the shirt that the girl was wearing said "never mind"! Hahahahahahaha!

People like ants.

 

 

 

 

Right in front.




To the right.



To the left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More street performers! This big bubble-blowing guy was really good!



All the kids were soooo happy.

Walked around the old town a little to suss out any quirky dining places!

Nope, didn't buy any to try.

 

Finally settled on one that was near our hostel and sold traditional Czech food! Cue pork knuckle.

 

 

 

 

We rested really early that night because we woke up super early that morning to catch a flight, and had to wake early again the next morning to catch a train to Salzburg! T.T

 

 



That's Tex massaging my feet in our private cabin on the train.

 

 

Bye for now, Prague. See you in a few days' time.

Scenic views along the route.

Wow, this was really a long entry with many many photos. I've concluded that although Prague wasn't as nice as I thought in overall, I would still like to be back to discover more about the city! Two days and two nights in this city just weren't enough! Really hope to do a backpacking trip with no deadlines involved and just plan our route along the way. That would be really exhilarating and liberating!!

Up next, Salzburg, my favourite leg of the trip!!!

Thanks for reading! :D