Weddings/Marriages A Gimmick?

The more I think about, the more I find weddings a marketing gimmick.

If you don't understand it, think of flowers on a Valentines' Day. Think of rice dumplings on, er, Rice Dumpling Festival? Think of mooncakes on Mid-Autumn Festival. Think of presents on Christmas Day.

Weddings would be like on a Marriage Day. The day you start or commemorate a union of two persons. (Preferably to the society, a man and a woman.)

If love is purely emotional, a union of love should be emotional too. This is then signified by a procedure or occasion called the Wedding, where you, well, wed two persons together to prolong or unite two persons in a period called 'marriage' or 'wedlock'. Some chose to do it over a contract which is also known as a marriage certificate.

To modernise that, a registry ascertains all these certificates and translate that into laws. That your union is legally binding and nope, no one's allowed to cheat. Legally of course. If you cheat emotionally, you will not be held responsible by law, unless your spouse takes you to court which in that itself, is a legal action and then the registry bo bian have to pay attention to your case. If not, the registry doesn't really care what happens after your registration of marriage. It's not insurance - they do not conduct follow-up calls to ask you "How is it? Are you enjoying your marriage? If there is any problem, please contact our after-sales service hotline?"

Well, that's on the LAW side. Now let's talk about the ANCIENT LAWS which modern and elite societies (like US *beams at LKY*) regard them as unimportant as we regard traditional chinese medicine.

For Chinese Ancient Wedding Laws, we have the Chinese Wedding Customs. These customs, in one way or another, is like the modern registration as mentioned above. There are things and rituals that you have to perform if you believe in it. Let me cite you another perspective, believing Chinese customs and performing it is like living in Singapore - you wanna move on as a couple, you register your marriage and you will THEN be eligible to buy a flat. Don't wanna believe? Don't stay in Singapore then.

If you believe in it but for some reason would not like to follow through every single aspect, can. You cherry-pick the customs you like but what's the point? You register your marriage and you apply for the flat but you don't wanna obtain a HLE? Then no flat lor. In this Chinese Wedding Customs thing, the zheng-hu would be the deities and whoever's up there to bless your marriage. If you 'offend' those people up there by defying what you believe yet not do, you 'suffer' in a way (most immediate suffering I can think of is you don't have a husband or wife lor). The Chinese (including myself) are very good at instilling fear by threatening telling you that you would have retribution or karma if you don't do this, this or this. A simpler version would be 'you would not enjoy good luck'. Like WTF?! How would you know?! In modern terms, you get punished by the law. Yes, the very same reason and circumstances that you are married under.

And my point in this post is that - Yes, a wedding like a marketing gimmick because if two soulful persons love each other endearingly, what's an occasion, ritual or registration to define? You don't even HAVE to marry to show that you are committed to each other. That being said, a wedding is nice to look at when you are old. It's like watching a movie. It's killing time anyway, why not watch a nice one instead of a plotless one? A wedding provides you beautiful memories and photos to look at and to look back on. A wedding seems to assure the two persons involved in a way like 'Don't you ever forget that we did this.' A wedding is an amplifier for signifying "YES, WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH WE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER (SCREAMING DOWN OUR THROATS)".

Till this point, do you get it? Well again, I have digressed. So for the third time, (yes yes) you and I have reached a common understand that I think that weddings are marketing gimmicks and that being said, I am not despising or disagreeing with the way weddings are conducted. In fact, I buy into it.

Yes, I buy into it. I buy into the idea what those bastards at the bridal salons are selling. It's like you buying into the idea that a facial can give your better skin. You don't need it, you want it. You like the idea that they are proposing and it's fun and you genuinely feel happy thinking about it.

But question is, how FAR should you believe in it? I don't have an answer here. I mean, it's nice, wahhhh gowns wahhh photos wahhhhhh wedding bands but really, I don't need them to represent how much I love my fiance. Or in fact, whom I already treat as a husband but not RECOGNISED by law or Chinese Wedding Customs but by Melvina's Registration of 'Can You Cook Me Breakfast? Overeasy, Please' & 'Make the bed!'.

So in short (well, not really :S), weddings are optional to me and I abhor the idea that I HAVE to do something because... well, just because I should because the law states this this this or the customs state that that that.

And now, I would do a wedding because I buy into the marketing gimmicks that they are selling. I love the white gown black suit idea. It's not needed, but it's nice. I love my husband, the wedding is not needed for me to prove how much I love him or to signify our union, but it's nice to have something to commemorate. A 'festival' that is meant for the two of us instead of the other seven billion creatures on Earth.

Doing it right is not the same as doing it because it's right. I hope I made my point.

Getting There

Getting there is a rather broad and intangible issue to talk about. Where I am going and want to go is quite a far-fetched goal but I'll be straight to the point. Here's what I wanna do in the near future.

("Near" meaning in five to ten years' time. I do project that I'll live to at least 55 years old, enough to get my CPF but not old enough to spend it.)

1. Have a simple but cosy wedding without busting our small budget.
2. Have an awesome honeymoon! Awesome meaning free-and-easy, loads of fun and visiting exotic places.
3. Get a BTO in an awesome location. Willing to compromise location for price of flat.
4. Live in Australia for a short period of time. I do realise that this point may contradict Point 3 but we'll work something out.
5. Kids can come later. Later as in 30 years old. Some may say 30 will be too late and I'll regret later. At this point of time, I'll rather regret the pains that I may have to bring up my children, than to regret not having the courage to explore the world when I am young. Either way, I'll have regrets in this life because I simply do not have the time AND money to do both. At least, I'll be able to choose what I will regret. Agree? Agreed.
6. Start a business myself. I have some models in mind. That'll be for a later post.

Brief outline of what I have for my near future. Hope I come up with some actions fast.

The Proposal

Ahhh, I don't know where to begin.
For months, we've been talking about weddings, marriages, proposals and such. How we would like certain things to be and how we would like things to be more unconventional, also things that we would like to keep close to our hearts.

I knew he was going to plan something surprising for me. I honestly thought it was going to be in the later part of the year, or rather, it "has" to be by this year because I know that we both secretly would like to please my parents by agreeing to being engaged before Tex flies off to Perth (again!!!, I know right?!) next year to further his studies.

I just didn't know it would be so soon. Still smiling as I type this. Heeeee.

Yesterday started off like any other Saturdays that we normally spent with each other. He picked me up from my house at 9am and we went to ICA to grab his new passport. Had our favourite Yong Tau Foo near Stephanie's maiden home and drove back to his house with the intention of grabbing his soccer stuffs for his match at 1pm. Enroute, met with a massive jam with no idea how and why, I got very amused by a lady passenger who scowled at me with goldfish eyes when we refused to give way to their car as they were on the road shoulder, trying to veer in. Singaporeans, what's new right?

Side track: Singaporeans like to perform synchronised-driving. When they intend to turn left later, they keep right until they are about ten metres away then they tried to switch to the leftmost lanes. Vice versa. Poor cars in the middle lanes practically cannot move and just have to stay still and watch them do their 'thang'. They seem absolutely uncomfortable staying still.

Okay I've digressed. Geez.

Watched him play and his team lost, as usual. Wahahahaha! He is finally believing my words - everytime I watch him play, his team would lose. I have never watched him win a match before. :E

Went home to shower and we decided that we should just head out for dinner! I changed into my favourite (also his favourite) maxi dress of the moment - an ethnic-print dress that I bought during our holiday in Boracay. Had to meet both a buyer and a seller at Orchard MRT at 7pm so he waited for me while I ran my errands. While he was waiting in the car, he decided where we should head for dinner and hence suggested Botanic Gardens.

We arrived at where the food court was and I was pleasantly surprised that the food court had become Food For Thought Cafe! He told me I had been an awesome girlfriend for the week and I was free to order ANYTHING I liked! Jumped at the chance of it and ordered:

-- Ratatouille
-- Grilled Basil Pesto Chicken Burger (WITH FRIES AS SIDES)
-- Grilled Cuban Ham and Pulled Pork Burger (his)
-- Bacon, Potatoes and Onion Salad

Whattttt a feast!!!! We were sooooooo hungry! When I was finishing my dinner, he even told me I could go to the cake stand and decide which cake I wanted while he went back to the car to leave the leftovers which I doggy-baged as we couldn't finish them. OMGGGGG!!! Okay, I was like a kid, I know. This health-conscious boyf does not give me alot of chances to binge, you know?? Alas, I was too full and gave the cake a miss.

So he suggested that we take a walk. Botanic Gardens at night is rather romantic! Haven't been there since my sister's wedding day. Walked and found a nice pavilion to sit down and we chatted as usual. Then the jumping scene in "Crazy Stupid Love" where Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone did that Dirty Dancing jump scene came to my mind and I told him I wanted to try! Tried for like five times and I still couldn't hoist myself off the ground. Too fat, I hear you say?!

Refusing to give up, I stood on a bench in the pavilion and insisted that he hoist me up. AND HE DID! OMG I WAS SO HAPPY I CAN'T EVEN!!!!! So when he put me down I was giggling, laughing and basking in my own little glory that we finally did it when..

HE WHIPPED OUT A BROWN BOX AND SMILED GINGERLY AT ME.

(Nope, it's not THE blue box.) Seriously, I wasn't even thinking about that at that moment.

Before I could even react, he knelt down on one knee, opened up the box and there it was... the most beautiful, sparkling ring I have ever seen in my life. I teared up almost immediately. And he said a string of sentences that I was too emotional to remember but I caught and remembered the following,

"You are the pillar of my support. I cannot imagine doing this with anyone else but you. We've been through five years of life together and those were the happiest times of my life. I want to marry you because I want more of these and you are the perfect person for me. You have been there for me through my darkest times. Of course without you, my life might be better but because of you, I am willing to face the uncertainty of our future... You don't have to answer me now, take all the time you need to think about it. I'd understand if you have cold feet.." Blah blah blah.

I prolly forgot the rest because I was trying to sniff in all my mucus and blink out my tears just so I could see his face clearly. Too bad my crying face always ends up with loads of mucus and shit faces so I'm secretly glad that no photos or videos were taken.

So he waited for my answer..

"But you didn't ask the question!" I exclaimed.

"Oh.. Will you marry me?"

"... Yes." I deliberated awhile because I wanted to imagine at the instance, can this man, who's kneeling down in front of me, be the man who cares for me, laugh with me, cry with me, appreciate me for who I am, tolerate my sloth, live the happy moments with me but most importantly, be there for me at my lowest point?

He can, he had, he did. He still does.

He is a man, so different from those that I know. When we go out for dates, he never once rushed me when I was taking my time to do my make-up. When we sit down for meals, he opts to sit next to me so he can be close to me. When we were in a long-distance relationship for the better half of our time together, he called me everyday and took time to share the day's happenings with me. He always started the conversation like this "Hi Baby, how are you today?". He looked forward to share my experiences, big or small. I don't think I can ever find anyone who has patience with me like he does. Five years on, he is still as loving and as caring as when we started dating.

Sure, we have our fights. Squabbles, quarrels, full-fledged fights, you name it, we have it. But we never really got down to wanting each other out of our lives. The happy times that we have were always the pull factor that sucked us back to each other.

We were brought up with different upbringings, his open-minded, mine conservative. We welded together and formed a balance of our own. We are not perfect yet, we don't aim to be. We are beautifully imperfect. I love the rawness and grounded humility he has, despite being more privileged than others. He taught me the precious lesson to be honest and to treasure my parents. I used to blame my parents for things I didn't have, he showed me to be thankful for what I already have.

He is my best friend. I tell him everything, right down to the disgusting habits and the OCD traits that I have. He assures me time and time again love is being happy for the person you love. In return, I tell him "there is no forever, only as long as possible".

We are each other's best travel mates. Every new country I visit, I wanna do it with him. He brings out joy and interest in the simplest things ever. We got so happy when we tabao-ed a packet of fried carrot cake back to the hotel in Malacca and ate it in bliss. We roamed the streets of Hong Kong, keeping each other warm by holding hands. We pitched a tent by Lucky Bay in Esperance and had canned soup for breakfast. We popped a $7 bottle of champagne upon news that I had graduated from business school and sprayed it all around the beach, with the moon shining brightly on us. We went on numerous road trips in Perth with me feeding him Starburst Babies while he drove. He woke up in the morning to cook me breakfast with bacon the way I liked it to be. We trekked through a forest in Lombok and frolicked at a waterfall. We walked through a tunnel with water up to our ankles in darkness. He accompanied me on my virgin diving experience, a promise he held true to his heart. We shopped our hearts out in Taipei and fell asleep holding hands. We parasailed in Boracay and as we rose higher and higher, we looked at each other in excitement, taking in the euphoria and bliss we then enjoyed.

I could go on but that's not my point of contention of how much fun we had as travelling partners (although that is an absolute plus point). This is one man I could see me being happy with. Even if we may not be the perfect match now or in future, we know we both tried damn, fucking, hard. This man tells me how you should train a three year-old toddler. This man is the first one who regarded my migraine auras very seriously. This man encourages me to go to the dentist, to visit a specialist to inquire about my frequent migraines and auras when I was so afraid of finding out the truth, to relentlessly inform me about insurance plans and how I should protect myself and even my parents. This man thinks so much about himself, me and our families. He is the one who taught me "Don't give others what you don't have."

Simple, but so much wisdom in it. The underlying tones - you have to take care of yourself first before you start caring for others. You need to have love before you can give love.

He is so full of passion and has so much zest for life, he brings me sunshine and lights up every aspect of my life. He has his timetables so packed that he sometimes can hardly breathe but you can trust that he is the kind that looks back when he is old and says "Goddamnit, I did all these! Woah!"

I wanna be like him too. We kissed and we found contentment in each other. We start OUR lives together right this very moment.

So yes, I will be marrying my best friend.

Here's presenting to you, one of our first few photos as a newly engaged couple.

Hello loves.

$$$$$

Steps to make myself a grand-aire:

1. Achieve another $4,000 in savings by 31 Oct 2012
2. No talk or smell about travelling plans till 31 Oct 2012 except.. (refer to Point 3)
3. No holidays unless I spend less than $50 per trip (which is highly unlikely so refer to Point 2)
4. Sell off whatever's on this list.

That should be it for now. Maybe I should spend more time on this blog than this, this, this, or this.

Please X all of them, now.

Hee.

♥♥♥

How cheeky is my boyf to gang up with my parents for a little surprise dinner at my favourite restaurant in Singapore?

Very.

For days, I pestered my parents to tell me where they were bringing me for my birthday dinner. They kept saying 'I know where, I know where' but none was willing to let the cat out of the bag! So I had to fish for details like 'What do I wear? Is there air-con?' but nooooooooo, lips were sealed. Damn it.

The old folks kept mum until I realised Dad was driving towards Chinatown, then Keong Saik Road. Aha.. I knew it. Someone must have told him about my favourite restaurant and who could it be, the person none other than the one who enjoys its fare as much as I do?

Walked in and TADAH! The boyf sitting there and looking at me gingerly. Hmmmm. Was pleasantly surprised indeed, but more excited about what I was gonna feast on!!! YUMMMM!

Mom and Dad

Mummy's girl.



Cappesante Gratinato



Cozze Alla Arrabbiata

=D

MUACK

Spaghetti Al Frutti Di Mare E Nero Di Seppia

Fettuccine Alla Salmone

The Special of the Day

 Andddddd, the surprise cake came on! Guess I'm still not used to having a whole crew sing the birthday song to me. *Blush* And I haven't heard a birthday song from my parents since I learned how to walk! *Guffaws*

A surprise cake for me - COFFEE CAKE!! FAVE!!!!

Love my folks!

Love him more for all that he has done.





Heartwarming gesture from the restaurant - a complimentary Tiramisu



Fully satisfied!






<3


Look for Alvin the restaurant manager if you happen to patron Pasta Inc at 35 Keong Saik Road! The squid-inked pasta is one of our faves and has never disappointed us before! I recall once when I was there with my friends and I merely casually mentioned to Alvin that the squid-inked pasta's serving was a little small and the next thing I knew, he served up another half a portion, completely free-of-charge! Oh, did I mention that we got 10% off the total bill? Heeeee.

I strongly recommend the place for tasty pasta! Authentic or not, I believe I am not the best person to tell you that because I haven't been to Italy. Hawhawhaw.

Have I told you I love Tex? =E

25

This August, I've officially reached my quarter-life crisis. My life has been nothing short of awesome, dotted with specks of happiness and stability contributed by my family, friends and Tex. I thank you all for my existence till this day.

Heartfelt thank-yous go out to Peck Hiang (who fetches me or sends me home almost everytime we meet), Steph (who has recently gotten married and has a gloooowww in her skin now, I call that a 'bridal glow') and Pei Juan (who has a crush rather recently and I hope the crush is crushin' her too).

I had to choose a dinner place and since my favourite meal of the day is breakfast, let's go Wiiillllllddddd Honeyyyyy, baby!

Though there were like 16 other choices,

All of us, I meant, ALL, ordered English Breakfast.

12 years, MUACK.

These are the people who've seen me in my ugliest and has never ever judged. I ♥♥♥ them soooo madly.

Can we not have such a huge cake in future please? =D

The then bride-to-be!

Looking at PJ makes you hide in shame 'cos she exercises so freaking much!

One more shot 'cos I thought I looked really skinny here #falsehope

The best friend aka the sec-one-sit-together-but-hit-each-other-friend

We had to pay for our food first before ordering. No reservations could be made in advance hence suggest you send someone down to queue up first if you wanna have a seat promptly! Send your Ah Mat? Hahaha.




Designed like an old home with cosy lounging chairs

Baby, you may like it here 'cos they have many different types of couches and chairs for you to feast your eyes on? =)

Sigh, old liao 还玩这种玩意儿

#puff

Act cute



To myself, *toast*

That's not the end of my birthday celebrations! Although I'm three months late in posting them but, why do you care?! Heeeee.

Till the next (which is soon, I hope).

This Year

I've had abusive comments hurled at me so many times, I lost count.

I will stop being nice.

Overcoming My Fear

I'm afraid of fishes. More like, I'm afraid of anything slimy. So yes, before I met Tex, I have never ever, ever considered taking up diving. What's there to see when one dives? (What a mistake, oooohhh what a mistake.)

But baby steps I took to what I did today. I went with Tex to dive shops to look for stuffs. I went with him to Outram Pool to try out his new equipment. I went with him to Bali to accompany him when he dived (more like he went out to sea while I slacked in the resort). We came back and he bought me a snorkelling set so we went back to Outram Pool more often to use the mask. Then we started renting tanks and before I knew it, I had already put on (numerous times) a BCD (Buoyancy Compensator-something), learned how to recognise and breath through a regulator, wore fins, rash guards, my snorkelling mask and started finning around in the pool. All before any intentions of learning diving started to form.

This April, I went to the ADEX with him and took the plunge into signing up for Open Water course. As I paid, it felt surreal. What am I doing?! I'm afraid of fishes yet I'm signing up for it?! To help boost my confidence, I roped in Soo Hui and Cassie and they were sporting enough to join me. Thankful for them, they made my learning path so much more easier, braver and enjoyable.

After several months of planning, scheduling and re-scheduling, we finally settled on a date to go on a dive trip to complete our Open Water training. Before that, we have to go to Outram Pool (yes, again) for training sessions.

It starts with a theory lesson.

Soo Hui and I comparing the sizes of our fins.

Soo Hui's fins were ridiculously small. We were joking that we might have to wait for her in the sea since they were so small and looked like they could hardly propel her forward.
That same Sunday, we went for our pool session!

Soo Hui working the rash guard that Tex lent her

Cassie trying to 理三千烦恼丝

Fighting dehydration!!!

Nom nom nom

:D

Having fun!

We embarked on our virgin dive trip right after work on the following Friday!!! The three of us went to the dive shop located at Geylang East and we were instructed to check our gear and try on our wetsuits. Oh man they were tight! No, it's not that we're fat, they are meant to be tight, idiots!

I felt like I enrolled into an adventure camp all over again. Like those that we forced to go when we were in Secondary Three. So we also tried on our BCD, fins and mask and placed them all into the dive bags provided. We also fiddled with the regulator until we realised a faulty regulator can only be detected underwater, no? Hahahahaha!

Got on the mini-van and started our journey into Mersing. Long bumpy ride on the mini-van but I did enjoy it a little. Hee, guess I really love road trips to a big extent.

Just look at my eyes. Will you just look at my eyes!

We reached Mersing at about 12am and boarded the dive boat straightaway. Man, I was hoping that we could sleep over at Mersing for a night at least! No such luck! =(

Reached Tioman at about 3.30am in the morning but our bad luck got WORSE. The resort owner forgot to place the room keys into the key-box for our retrieval and we were stranded outside. 4am.. 5am.. 6am.. 7am.. Telephoning, calling out loud etc ceased to work. What a long excruciating night. Zzzz to the max.

But finally they opened their doors at 8am! We were too tired to reason it out with them, or at least, I was. So after a quick shower, I headed straight into bed. I think I vaguely remember Cassie or Soo Hui tickling me when I was sleeping..

But wtf, had to wake up at 9am.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Let the photos do the talking! Yeehaw!

Cassie (didn't sleep), me (acting like I'm not sleepy), Soo Hui (didn't sleep)

Nice view during breakfast to compensate for the lack of sleep

Yawns..

Someone enlighten me why I was laughing so disgustingly?!

Eeew, again.

Diving brings out the ugliest in people. Literally.

Finally in water! Are we ready!!!!

Here we go..

Mask-clearing aka clear your mucus out as hard as you can

Tadah! Done!

'Always remember to breathe'. Funny how we always take breathing for granted.

Passed all! Show a sign of victory!

More drills

Gerard leading the drills

That's my (Indian) buddy on the left of the photo. As for me, I was constantly checking.. I don't know what.

A little scenic photo for you lest you are bored.

Soo Hui and Cassie doing buddy-sharing!

Bloop bloop!

Sounds just like a 'good job!' to me

C'mon buddy, let's go

Up, up and away!

=D

Foreground: -___- ; Background: Struggling

I have standing hair.

Who can haz a mohawk underwater?! ME!!!!

Check out my toned calves. Hmmmm..

<>

Yummy grilled garlic buns!!!!

Super yummy grilled vegetables! ♥ the mushrooms max!

With that, we clocked four open sea dives and we were certified leisure divers by the fifth dive! So proud of Cassie and Soo Hui! And so thankful to Tex who quietly shadowed us for all the dives and eventually becoming my dive buddy for the rest of the dives after my Indian buddy got an eye infection and was told to stay onboard. A blessing in disguise because he was quite a klutz and initially I was quite sian-ed to buddy him. =P

But can you imagine him wandering off when we were only training in the pool?! Like omgwtfbbq.

On the way back to Mersing

HAPPY!

Thank you, oh my darling. Without you, it wouldn't have been half as enjoyable and educational. ♥♥♥

And... I am finally a certified diver. =DDDDDDDDD