i don't know when blogger's gonna eat up my post again, but i guess i'll just have to complete this post asap. at least for now i know why they have a new 'recover post' function over there. *_*
why is it just so hard for someone to get a fact right?
pretence isn't even something that i can understand, but can do. i pretend, because i hold a huge transparent shell against people i loathe and have something against. i pretend, because i don't think they have the need to know what i'm thinking. i pretend, because you all pretend too. yes, you all do. hah.
you pretend that you aren't trying to pretend, you pretend that you don't know that i'm pretending. haha, now how cool is that? we are ALL pretending. that's soooo fun. being honest is when i feel that THAT particular person is worth me being honest to (and there're very few, you guys know who you are =>) come on lar. you speak like you're a saint. you speak like you never tell lies. you brag like nobody's business. birds of a feather flock together. and we all know who too.
i'm sorry that you had to know that, it wasn't meant for you to know anyway. so how did you know it? by bitching around? (note: 'bitch' doesn't equal to females, guys can be damn bitchy too) anyway, so what's the thing about being true? in my opinion, being the most truthful is telling that you're too rude in some instances, telling you that "you're too fucked up and i can't stand your attitude". being truthful is not trying very hard to suck up to you, being truthful is not telling you stuff coated in sugar. being truthful, is basically just telling you the cold, hard, bitter truth. like it or not. but then again, it's up to you to judge whether people are telling the truth. some people just never like truths. people never like to hear the truths right? do they? (think OCOM: selective listening) excerpt from the Class 95 FM advert.. only hear the good stuff.
all i can say is, if at this age you're still stuck between finding true friends or what-nots, that's so sad. because you yourself aren't even one by having doubts about your friends in the first place. i don't claim that i treat everyone equally, but at least i don't judge them according to what kind of brands they wear and whether they're carrying a merlion-printed white plastic bag or a damn-it-so-nice AX paper bag. i have a fren who says all kinds of rude nonsense to me, but i still treats him as a good pal although i get darn irritated at times BECAUSE i know he doesn't mean it and we both don't take hurtful words seriously. but for you people who don't say it, you do it. that's even worse than slapping it right onto my face. thankfully i have a bunch of lovies who know when i get overboard and they tell it to me. the gist is, they tell it to me. ME. they don't tell it to others first and tell me. i thank you all guys for that, and i love you. at least you all don't pretend to smile and keep quiet then bitch behind me, about me. you all bitch WITH me. i love you all for that. =)
i'm not specifying anyone over here, although i do have someone in mind, if not i wouldn't be able to have all these thought out. but if you think i am, haha, what makes you think so man? do you have a guilty conscience or what? i don't expect anyone to be reflecting over my post (i don't have such great powers and I'm not GOD. besides, a leopard never changes its spots) but please please please.. if you have done nasty things to someone you call your 'FRIEND' (that's if you KNOW you have done it and remembers, -shakes head-), we don't expect anyone to change and you don't have to, but just STOP it. that's all we need. i'm not someone who trusts one easily, but once i do, i give in my all. if my trust is betrayed, it's kind of difficult for me to piece it back again. probably i'll just
ah bu: i miss you so much. even though i hardly see you, not even like once a month, we have this bond going on and i know you miss me too =P. besides, you have sooooo many sisters that you don't even need to confide in me, except for that little eye candy over at kbox and about other stuff, hurhur. haha, nothing's gonna change our many many years of friendship and let's continue to be fat together! >.<
peck: even though you love fat matt more than you love me (=<), i still love you as my bestie. though we haven't been talking on the phone for eons, i still care and i really wonder how you're doing now. i hope you aren't being bullied (you won't let anyone bully you anyway). you always have a soft spot for a particular something despite your very strong surface and once your hard shell is down, you will be terribly hurt. people often take advantage of that. that's something i KNOW over our 7 years of great great great friendship. =D
peajay: that's if you're reading this! (i'll have to say this to peck as well, haha) my dearie sitting partner! we both are mad about green, you about schneider, and me about oliver kahn (that bulldog).. we both screams and shrieks into the mikes in kbox and actually, we don't really need mikes to sing. haha, you rock in your own way, and i love you for who you are.
to all 3 of you: we have no group blogs, no special identity to prove that we are besties, no friendship bands to claim that we're a clique.. but that's what we are. what are all those artificial icons for? we all know it in our hearts. it's on every of us's birthdays when we get together and scream the hell out. it's on our birthdays when we know that it's time for us to see each other again. although we are in the same school, it's so hard to see you all and even if we do, we've only got time to say 'hi-bye". there's so much i wanna tell you all that i really appreciate the efforts that you girls try to date me out and chill, but sometimes i just simply have no time =(. at times when i irritate you all, you all tell it to me so that i'll change. that's really nice and i love the way you all are. i don't wanna have a new group of besties and meet new friends, because i already have very, very good ones and you all are good enough for me. or should i say i'm good enough for you all? =P *hugs* so, after so much mushy stuff, when are we going out again?!?!? *roars*
here's to the 4 of us:
to us, who didn't even bother to pretend to like fat matt (sorry peck, can't helped it, hee).
to us, who didn't even bother to pretend we're happy with each other when we're actually not.
to us, who treasure the times we had in cedar, the good, and the bad.
to us, who loves each other for who we all are, and not trying to change anyone.
to us, who keeps each other all in the left side pocket of our body and remembers everyone for each special occasion.
to us, who cares whether you're wearing cerisi or roxy?! BOOOOO!!!!
to us, for being just SIMPLE us.
remember, the ugly photo of we 4 on graduation day is still sticking on my living room wall. =D
it's because you girls are special, that's why i set aside a special ringtone for you all.
cheers~
PS: it was great to be at clemmie's house yesterday, although i couldn't stay overnight, and had to make all of you walk out to the main road with me late at night to hail a cab.. i'm soooo sorry.. clem, your house is great and i'd love to go there again, if only it isn't so deep in and you keep your dog away!! >.< hurhur. hope you all liked the dishes that i whipped up for dinner yesterday, though it was very very salty. drink more water yeah? =)
and to those who are concerned, i've passed my advanced theory. =)
just because your attitude sucks, get off mine.
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