reNaiSSaNcE...

i'm supposed to turn in early tonite.. because of my illness.. but i'm staying up to blog this..

someone who has lost contact with me suddenly regained contact after what seemed like a long time.. it feels weird to talk again because we have had misunderstandings about each other.. finally she has cleared her thoughts and pretended nothing really ever happened.. well in one way i'm glad about that.. but in another way i hoped that she had never tried to contact me at all.. it sounds selfish and snobbish.. but i really didn't know what to say to her? "oh.. hi, how are you?".. or things like "oh it's been such a long time since i saw you!!"???.. so fake.. things that i'd do over my dead body..

unknowingly we were talking like it's back to the old days when there were no conflicts.. she was like so chattery and i kind of unexpected it.. i had to respond to her using the same wavelength and frequency or it would sound damn awkward.. there were like pauses in between and i had to use old-fashioned pause-fillers like 'erms' and 'orhs' to keep it going.. quite a tedious task that is.. wish i'll never have to do it again..

through experience.. if you see something that is quite a pain to the eyes.. look at it a few more times and you'll feel numb.. strong emotions are often developed through aggressive anger which is formed during quite a short time.. try to extend it and relax.. you'll find yourself coming to terms with it and often understand more things by looking through different perspectives.. in your haste to 'delete' something you dun wanna see, you are actually escaping.. the best remedy is to face it, take a good look at it.. and you'll find that it's actually nothing much.. it's no more than just a 'PAH!'.. a hard fact..

take care buds.. who knows when my com will break down again.. till i blog in.. PEACE~